The Angry White Guy

Flashback to Valentine 2009 and Val-day facts.

Posted February 14th 2010 at 2:27 pm by AWG

I hate to admit it but I’m so glad Valentine Day is here and you know why? While some my say “Oh, Angry White Guy you must be a true romantic at heart, a really nice nice guy and that is like ever so sweet.” Wrong! Wrong wrong wrong 1000 times wrong! The real reason – I so sick of Pajama Gram, Vermont Teddy Bear, Cheri Berry, ProFlowers commercials (Note to these companies I will never buy your manipulative advertising crap.) I could puke! It’s nothing more than trying to guilt men into thinking they are lowly asses if they don’t pony up $80-$100 for a stupid little Teddy Bear that will end up in a closet. That men are a heel if they don’t send flowers to the her office to empress the other women and somehow 6 chocolate strawberries are worth $20 plus shipping that about $4 per berry and is these tough economic times the toughest sense the Great Depression I don’t think so.

But here is the rub ladies these commercials treat you like nothing more than cheap street walkers, just a piece of meat that shows you as able to be bought for jammies, chocolates, flowers or a teddy bears. Pajama gram is the worst with the innuendos implying that “Hey guys want to get your lady out of her clothes?” blah blah blah… These places do nothing more than market in women’s sexuality and men’s primal instincts, fine whatever but the end goal of what these commercial promote can be achieved au gratis – so from the Angry White Guy vaults way back in 2009 – seems like a year ago some Valentine’s Day trivia…. updated.

Valentine’s Day is just two day away … oh no!

1. 17%-21% of all flowers sent on Valentine’s Day are brought by women and sent to themselves, so when most people will be sending flowers to women at work, you will know that for every 2 out of 10 flowers you see at work some lonely old maid or tubby, tubby 2X4 sent them to herself. Truly pathetic.

2. 73% of people who buy Valentine’s Day flowers are men (being quilted by their woman) and only 27% are sent by women mostly to themselves so let’s go women pony up and buy more flowers for someone other than yourself. Spend that $100 on your man for something that will not be dead within a week, like a cordless drill or the Girls gone Wild video collection.

3. Every year around 1 billion Valentine cards are bought and sold … what would the libs think of all those murdered trees and how many did they kill?

4. Teachers receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts. Children between ages 6 to 10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine’s cards with teachers, classmates, and family members…. start that peer pressure early would you.

5. A single perfect red rose framed with baby’s breath is named by some florists as a “signature rose,” and is the preferred choice for most for giving on Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and birthdays. Yeah whatever, it’s still a murdered flower that will be dead soon … hope you’re happy killer.

6. The red rose was the favorite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love. The color red stands for strong romantic feelings making the red rose the flower of love. Red is also the color of blood mull that one over.

7. Cupid is a symbol of Valentine’s Day. Cupid was associated with Valentine’s Day because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid often appears on Valentine cards and gift tokens holding a bow and arrows as he is believed to use magical arrows to arouse feelings of love or maybe it’s just a symbol of violence.

8. Verona, the Italian city where Shakespeare’s play lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters every year sent to Juliet on Valentine’s Day. What the hell for? Is she going to come down the chimney and leave chocolate and overpriced strawberries?

9. In the Middle Ages young men and women drew the names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine. They would wear this name pinned on their sleeves for one week. This was done so that it becomes easy for other people to know your true feelings. This was known as “to wear your heart on your sleeve”. So the next time you see some overly sensitive person that wears their heart on their sleeve, you now know where it comes from.

10. On February 14th wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on Valentine’s Day in Wales. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite Valentine decorations on the wooden spoons. This Valentine decoration meant, “You unlock my heart!”

11. The most beautiful and incredible gift of love is the monument Taj Mahal in India. Built by Mughal Emperor Shahjahan as a memorial to his wife it stands as the emblem of the eternal love story. Work on the Taj Mahal began in 1634 and continued for almost 22 years and required the labor of 20,000 workers from all over India and Central Asia. (She was quoted as saying “OH SHEBA!! DO you know how hard it is to keep white clean?)

12. In America, the pilgrims used to send confections, such as sugar wafers, marzipan, sweetmeats and sugar plums, to their affianced. Lot of value was placed on these gifts because they included what was then a rare product, sugar. After the late 1800′s, beet sugar became widely used and more available, and sweet gifts continued to be cherished and enjoyed. So now you know why Americans are fat.

13. Amongst the earliest Valentine’s Day gifts were candies. The most common were chocolates in heart shaped boxes. – They are commonly over priced, over packaged and under packed.

14. The heart is associated to Valentine’s Day as it is considered the source of all human emotions. The custom of drawing a heart shape is supposed to have come from early attempts to draw an organ that no one had seen. The symbol came on to become as a sign of love… so thank goodness they didn’t know emotion came from the groin, or right now we’d all be eating cream filled candied … oh never mind.

There you go … worthless Valentine’s Day facts.

So what’s the real reason for Valentine’s Day simple it’s getting some babe to play dress up just to leave her outfit a crumpled pile on the floor and there is nothing wrong with that. Be serious to you really think Valentine’s Day is about cards, candy, jammies, teddy bears and flowers?

Get a clue.